Pixie Dust

September, 2012

Do you remember believing in fairies and princesses, castles and Neverland? As children, it’s easy enough to believe in Walt Disney’s mantra: “All it takes is faith, trust, and a little pixie dust.” Back when we all believed that, we believed we could be and do anything. As long as we had a little imagination, we could make magic happen. We could fly! And then… we grew up. With the onset of adulthood, most of us realized that it would take more than fairy dust to give us wings. We stopped waiting for prince charming and started fighting our own dragons. As grown women, we decided it was up to us to determine where we were going and what we were going to do with our lives. That’s reality. But for many, reality can be almost enough to shut down our dreams entirely. If we’re not careful, we might become too willing to accept the limitations put on us by others and by ourselves. We might stop trying to fly altogether.

Looking back at my life up to now, I see there were moments when it seemed my dreams were out of reach. Reality and its obstacles seemed too daunting. However, I can also see that every time I got close to hopelessness, someone was there to offer a few encouraging words, to provide strength, inspiration, or motivation. And each time, I would get up the courage to begin working toward my dreams once more. These special people were nothing short of magical. With their own kind of pixie dust, they made me believe I could fly.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not delusional. I know there are no fairies flittering around sprinkling us with magic dust. But I do believe there are people who enter our lives and give us the guidance and support to move forward. I have had quite a few of them in my life, and each has helped me believe I could take the next steps toward my goals.

I grew up in a small town. There, no one was expected to go to college, especially not women. My parents, however, didn’t share the beliefs of their neighbors. They taught me that I was not limited by where I was from. In fact, they provided me my foundation for pursuing excellence. I’ll never forget, after I brought home straight As on my report card, my father signed it, passed it back to me, and stated, “You can do better.” Just a fourth grader, I was confused and upset. Better? Wasn’t this good enough?  His response: “Only your best is good enough. Did you do the absolute best that you could do? If not, then you can do better.” He reminded me that early on in that grading period, I had not studied for the first test and had failed it. I might have ended up with all As, but he knew I could work harder, study better, and learn more the next grading period. He explained that if you define your success by what those around you feel is good enough, then you will never know your true potential. As long as you always give your true best effort, then how others score you is of no consequence. I believe my father gave me my first little bit of pixie dust with that lesson. Without it, I may have settled for success as defined by those I grew up with.

I met another person as I was growing up who inspired me, too. This was a gentleman who owned his own company and was the most successful businessperson I had ever known. I was initially impressed by his professional and financial achievements, but was eventually even more struck by what he taught me about the importance of relationships and work-life balance. I got to know him and learned that he had neglected both his own health and his family relationships as he focused on building his company. As I knew him later in his life, he was dealing with those consequences. He had started a new family and was trying to rebuild his relationship with his daughter. His health issues had left him with no feeling from his knees down, but he had worked hard to find a way to function and to conquer his obstacles with mental perseverance. Countless hours of conversation over many years taught me that with determination, I, too, could accomplish my goals, but that without taking the time to establish and nurture relationships with loved ones, success in business would be worthless. Another dash of pixie dust.

College brought a new set of challenges. Many friends didn’t understand or support my decision to continue my education. (As I packed to depart my hometown, I was asked if I would be “allowed” to come home for the holidays; usually when someone left, it was to join the military.) Off I went, with my courage and faith that having made this brave decision, I was headed to conquer the world. But when I arrived at Mississippi State and declared my major in Chemical Engineering, I found myself woefully unprepared. I came in with no higher math than Algebra II, a general chemistry class, and a physics class from a teacher who had never taken physics. I could have dropped out or switched majors, but I didn’t. After losing some of my scholarships due to my faltering grades, I entered the co-op program to fund my education. Over the course of my college years, I had to call constantly on my reserves of strength. Eventually, I graduated in 5 years with no student loans and a 3.0 with a B.S. in Chemical Engineering. I did it! I didn’t let anyone or anything stop me from achieving my goals.  That accomplishment and the proof that my determination paid off gave me another infusion of pixie dust – and I stored it away to give me strength in the future.

Early adulthood brought new questions and challenges as I learned to define exactly what “flying” would mean for me. I entered the work force. I met my husband. We began our family. I found myself unsure of my continued direction, torn between the roles of mother and businesswoman, both of which I wanted. With the support of my husband and friends, we created a structure to our lives that eventually provided the balance I was hoping for. There were times I thought it was impossible. But looking into the eyes of my two beautiful daughters, I knew that I must continue, even advance, my career goals. Knowing that I wanted my daughters to fly, I had to show them the way. There were days and weeks and months when it was hard, and certainly not perfect. My husband understood my determination and together we set priorities for our family. Together, we found a way to have career and family without sacrificing either. My husband and my daughters gave me the pixie dust that time.

I truly believe that it took all that pixie dust, over all those years, to prepare me to take off and fly when I began working with  Jabian Consulting. Here was an environment where I was surrounded by amazingly talented people, in a culture that promoted collaboration, excellence, honesty, and loyalty. Working in a company where my values aligned with theirs unlocked my passion and allowed me to grow both professionally and personally. Again, here were people who believed in abilities I wasn’t even sure I had – giving me the opportunities to build expertise. My skills, my portfolio, and my leadership flourished. I grew into a leader and embraced my role as a mentor to others. I felt I’d truly come into my own, and I enjoyed bringing excellence to my clients, my coworkers, and my industry. I went home at night – and still do – with a sense of pride in what my colleagues and I are building and peace in knowing that I love the work I’m doing.

I may be an adult now, but I believe more than ever in pixie dust. It’s been given to me along the way by my family, friends, mentors, and partners. Without it, I wouldn’t have had the faith to fly; with it, I’ve had the strength and confidence to surpass the limits set upon me by others and even the goals I set for myself. Imagine we never stopped believing in the magic we believed in as children. What would we try? What would we achieve? I believe that if we seek out the people in our lives who lift us up and see our potential, it’s as though we’ve kept that magic all along. So perhaps it’s true: “All you need is faith, trust, and a little pixie dust.”

JENNI CRENSHAW, Executive Director with Jabian Consulting, is seen by colleagues as a visionary thought leader who can adapt tools for success from one environment to another, bringing extraordinary value to both her company and its clients.  Named the 2011 Woman of the Year in Technology by Women in Technology, she is considered an industry expert in CRM, specifically CRM integrations and transformations. At Jabian, Jenni is responsible for leading account management, project delivery, and internal growth areas. Together, her teams are delivering game-changing technology and process enhancements for Jabian’s clients.